New Intention

May peace be upon all those who stumbled upon this post.😊

Heyyyy there~
Yes, yes I know that it has only been a few days and that I usually write in about once or twice a few months but it seems that I have something important to tell whoever is reading this.

As what is titled above, I managed to find something that may help me become a better muslim/person and I've got a lovely friend/partner- who I've told about my intention to, sweetly gladly agreed to take up on this challenge with me(shout out to you Zuella💕). I am honestly not sure what is going to happen so we're taking it real slow, one step at a time to figure it out properly. Although, once we manage to solve 'em puzzle pieces, we will make sure that all interested will get to see the completed picture😄

I really hope that this can get us further into  better understanding and more unfounded determination.

Slowly stabilising

May peace be upon all those who stumbled upon this post😊

Hello again! Well,my apologies for the very long comeback.... as well for expecting anyone to read this in the first place. On a side note, *whispers* happy belated 52nd my country!!❤

Anyways, nowadays she's not doing too bad considering all facts(Alhamdulillah). Realistically speaking for someone her age, her future may seem a little bit bleak but I think she knows better than thinking she's all alone. She tries to appreciate all that she has and is currently trying to appreciate herself more.

I'm sure you guys noticed, most of our time and energy is invested in work or school or both or other stuff which sometimes makes it harder to just take it slow one at a time. I mean, of course it's easier to say than to do it. With the pressure and everything else going on in this world, it could get really overbearing.

But, to trust is to have patience and to be patient is to be at peace with yourself.

We're all finding a way to live,keep up or whatever it is you guys are doing but we only have one life and we should make it worth it. I don't know what you guys are going through and I know that it hurts to be strong so I'll doa for ourselves to be able to love,forgive,appreciate and be humane to ourselves. I really hope you guys get to take 'em one step at a time.

Assalamualaikum w.r.w.b

Passion,ambition and responsibility.

Now at 3:12 a.m.,23rd October 2016,I am writing a blog about these 3 words.

They have been lingering around my mind since the past 2 years,but have made their presence much more bolder this year.I was and still am dazed,lost,contemplating about my future.When you're living with almost a dozen family members,the responsibility is high but on the average,not so bad.

I was debating with myself and my parents about what kind of course I could take if I do manage to pass the examination..and it was downing for me.Now,I'm not even sure whether it is actually a valid dream because responsibilties are trying to weigh in their "logic". So I don't know to whom I could talk to about this.Still,right now I don't have any proper goals to focus on.

My passion and ambition works together well.My ambition and responsibility matches well.Unfortunately,my passion and responsibilty do not mix together well.Ever since 2014,my world seems like a freaking big maze.I was not informed of any directions or maps or whatever that could help me escape.

I don't want to dissapoint anyone any further.I really don't want to.

Hong;Part 2

Actually,that may be all that I could think of when I thought of him.I guess I felt a lot for him.However,it was not like I had a crush towards him,it's just that I felt very friendly towards him..somehow.If that made sense for you guys,well that's it for the Hong series.

Thank you for tuning in 😂😂😂

Hong ; Part 1

Hong is a mysterious person.Hong was probably not his name too.In my opinion,he is a nice person.A person who has a lot of secrets to keep.

I met him a year ago in an academy located at the end of the green line and was delighted with his cheerful personality.Well,the other students were quite..calm so much so that it felt too serene. Despite his casual appearance,his eyes were as bright as an owl and his proactiveness reminded me of a meerkat.

He is very good with his words.Maybe I felt a bit overwhelmed because of the way he conversed to me.The attention that he gave was immensely pressuring and always made me take a step backwards.Remember what I told you about his eyes?Yeah,those combined made me rigid -almost.

Time to time,I thought about his well-being.I hope that he passed the exam that he studied so diligently for.

It's a belated content but...

Happy 51st Singapura!

I was watching a variety show and they were talking about their independence activists.I became emotionally overwhelmed when they talked about the things that they went through.It was relatable as Singapore also had precious people who went through so much just so that we are where we are today.They were selfless and brave and they were our lions.Everything that they did for Singapura,went through for Singapore resulted as a success.Alhamdulillah.

I was moved to tears.When I thought about all the sacrifices that they made,I was thankful.What they went through was probably non the youth nor the young now could imagine going through.Our lions fought for us,a country that is home to multiraces.Thank you Lions,we will remember you forever.

Part 2 : Shall I vent?

I tried.I tried a lot of things.

I tried to be positive.I tried to stay the same.I tried to be a better person.A better daughter,a better sister,a better self.It works only for a short duration and then it's gone.
My progress was stopped..and it was due to many causes.I don't know how to start really.

But somehow,I am still trying.No matter how many times I felt that I was an utter failure,useless,unhelpable and incapable of helping my family,I still couldn't forget the responsibility that I have towards my family,friends,juniors and especially towards myself.

Although there were people who saw me as a matured person,I am still a someone who's trying to find her identity.Someone who is still lost in the woods.I still do not know if all that I've sacrificed is still the right thing to let go.

I thought countless times again and again,boring the heck out of my brains thinking why am I still in the same spot?Why do I feel like I am not moving onwards?Why am I left here all alone again?

There was an answer,and it came out again and again.But I just couldn't...wouldn't believe it.How...how can I after all those times failing and failing again.I was in a dilemma for several days.

I guess I still haven't believed in myself yet.